The Secrets of Women’s Language – Keywords and their meanings

Fine:

This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. Never use fine to describe how woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five minutes:

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it’s an even trade.

Nothing:

This means something and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with the word “Fine”.

Three Beers

A man went to a bar in Ireland and asked the bartender for three beers.  The bartender serves the man the three beers and watches as he goes to a table by himself and takes a sip out of each beer, one at a time.  After three weeks of the man coming in and doing the same thing, the bartender’s curiosity finally got the best of him.

Bartender:  “Laddie, I noticed that every day you come here to this fine establishment and every day you order three beers and then you go sit in the same place and sip them one at a time.  Why do you do that Lad?